


In Our Eyes And Our Souls, Stars Collide

by xxvalxxvelocityxx



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character being sold to another (but not for creepy purposes), Crack Fic, I am so sorry, Incoherent ramblings, Mary Sue, Multi-chapter shitpost, Neglectful Mother, Nonbinary Fun Ghoul (Danger Days), Nonbinary Jet Star (Danger Days), Nonbinary Party Poison (Danger Days), Nonbinary Show Pony (Danger Days), Not RPF, Other, Parody of being bought by a celebrity and then dating said celebrity, Piss jokes that i am regretful of, Please leave mean comments like youre calling out val, Shapeshifting, Slight misgendering (not on purpose), The Girl doesnt exist, Val velocitys self insert character, alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 10,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26607169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxvalxxvelocityxx/pseuds/xxvalxxvelocityxx
Summary: This is Val Velocitys weird shitty self insert mary sue oc fanfic of him joining the fab 4.
Relationships: Vance vampire/party poison
Comments: 33
Kudos: 17





	1. The fateful day...

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me @xxvalxxvelocityxx on tumblr for more of this shit.
> 
> This chapter mentions a minor character drinking, a neglectful mother and a character being sold to another.

A.N. This is the start of my new story!! You will like it!!

I'm Vance Vampire im 17 and I live with my mother. She is single and also an alcoholic. We live in zone 4. One day I woke up and put on my blue pants, black shirt, and my awesome stylish white leather jacket. I got it from a drac that I killed in one hit. I walked to the living room to get breakfast from my mom. There was no food. Instead she was drinking. 

"Wheres the food, mother?" I asked coldly. I dont like my mother very much.

"We ran out of money." She replied. "So I sold you to the Fab 4."

"What!?1!1!??!" I said. I was very surprised.

"Theyll be here any minute!!

Knock knock!

I ran to the door, egar too see my  
new owners.

The door opened. Behind it was….. Party Poison!

A.N This is the start of my story!1! Tell me how it is!! And prepz fuck off!!


	2. Wow!! Fast car!1!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a person buying another, a neglectful parent, and alcohol mention.
> 
> Is it ok for me to screenshot your 'hate' comments and put them on an ask blog? Please let me know if you are not comfortable with that.

Chapter 2

A.N stop flaming me!! You are all prepz!1

"Wow" said party staring at me. Probably admiring my striking red hair. Its shoulder length and very shiney!

"Hi there," I said, trying to win them over. I didnt want to make a bad first impression!

"So ur buying me?" I said.

"Yes!" They responded. "You're going to live with us now!"

"Where?" I asked. I felt stupid for not knowing anything about this. I should know!! Its me they're buying!!

"In the diner!" Party replied! 

"Are there any other kidz?" I asked. I wanted to be the only one! I diserve all the attention!

"No. Just you, me, ghoul, jet and kobra!"

"Ok! Take me there!" I commanded.

Party gave my (former) mother a handful of carbons, and led me to their car!

"Wow! Cool car!" I said, buttering them up. 

"Yeah. It's my baby," they replied. I got a bit mad on the inside. I wanted to be their only baby! Not some fucking car is going to take my plaze! But I controlled my face, not wanting to seem grumpy.

I could see my (former) mother in the window. She did not look sad. She looked like she was drinking again.

I got in the car and it zoomed off!!

A.N hope you guyz liked it!1!


	3. The question :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im @xxvalxxvelocityxx on tumblr if you want to see more of this bullshit

Chapter 3

AN stop sending me hate male!! Itz very rude and makes me fell bad1!

I was in partys car, when I said,

"R u dating any1??"

They looked back at me (I was in the back right corner seat) with a look on their face. It was a mixx betwen confusion and wonder…. with a small smile.

"No… are you?"

"Noooo," I said with a tiny smirk. "But I want to."

"Hmmm," party siad under theyre breath. We continued the drive in silence. The car was a Trans am. I knew that because I am an expert with carz. Its was all colorful and shit, because the fab 4 are cool like that, rebelling against Bl/ind. I've always wanted to b a killjoy, but my (former) mom wouldnt let me!1!1 she was so mean. We were both neutralz (ew). But now I'm a killjoy111!!! I am so excited for my new life!!

AN fuck off haterz.


	4. Meeting the fab 4!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont think there is anything in this chapter that needs to be tagged, but please let me know if there is. That goes for all the chapters.

Chapter 4

AN STOP SENDING HATE MAILE JUST BECAUSE U CANT UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS

we drove for a bit more b4 we arrived at the dinner!! It was bluu and white and looked rlly cool!11!

There waz no 1 outside the diner… they must be inside, I thought. And i was right! The 3 of them wer standing bi the door when party burst shouting "WE HAVE FRESH MEAT"

The 3 off them looked at me and then they clapped, seeing how cool I waz.

"Thank u, thank u" I said as a slightly bowwed.

"So ur name is…?" Asked the blue one

"I'm Vance Vampire, drac killa extraordinaire. But you can call me Vance." I said. It was super cool. U shoulda been ther.

'Cool, dude, welcome to the diner," said the dead looking one. "I'm ghoul, ze/zer and they/them, that's kobra, he /him, and that jet, she/her." Ze said, pointing at the people as ze said their names.

"Sup," I said to kobra

"No." He replied.

"Ok" I doulble replied. Hah! I thoiught. Take that!

AN there will b more in da future!!


	5. Who??

Chapter 5

AN stop with da hate!! Prepz fukk off11

"Oh and I 4got 2 introduce u to ur main guardian: paety poison!!! The pissbaby!1!" Exclaimed ghoul

"I am NOT a pissbaby!" Party whined.

"Yeah, they aren't!" I backed them up. I wont haveny future date be called a pissbaby1! I dont like pis!! 

"Damn ok then chill dude" kobra said all snarkily.

"How about you stop bein such a prick and get ur head outta ur ass" I responded even snarkilyer. His face turned red!! Redder than my and Patty's hair combined!!

"Shove off" he said in a vaguely brittish accent?? He wasnt british b4?? And brittish people are stupid. So that doesnt make sence but it happened ennyway.

"Let me show u ur room" said jet. Finally, a nice person!! (Other than party poison, my bae)

She took me to my room.

"Me and ghoul r sharing a room. You can sleep with either korba or party."

"Hmmmm.." I said while I thot. Either i sleep in tha same bed as that snake shit bastard, who was incrediblee rood to me……… or I sleep with patry posion… my McDreamy Chef of Love….. 

AN cliffhanger!1!!!1 hahah you have to wait!!!


	6. Oh shit!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a short non descriptive fight scene in this chapter.

Chapter 6

AN some of u guys r incredibly rood to me… like krobra waz in the last chapter!!

"I think I'll sleep with (;})....... Paery poison!!11!1!!!" I exclaimed!!

"YAY" shouted korbas. I stared at him. He stared back. He looked like he was gonna punch me…. Until I punched him first!! It went SLAM!!! into his face, knocking him back until he hit the wall!!

"Holly shitsticks!!! What the FUCK!!!" jet yelled. Ghoul went ovr to kraba and helped him up

Krabs stared at me in disbeliefe.

"That was one helluva punch dude," he said. "Goodjob I guess?" He paused. "Welcome to the crew." And Crab limped off to the bathrom to get his nose not fucked up.

Party turned to me and looked in my eyes "So… ur gonna sleep with….. me?" They said all shyly.

"Yeah." I said

"Why?" Theu asked.

I hadn't thought that far a head yet. I just wanted to be close to them, and smell them in theor sleep…..

Thinking on the spot, I said "kobra looks to bony"

"Ah yea that makez senze" 

We stared at each other some more. You could feel the tension in the air, like a butrer, make out of tension. Jet looked at the awesome romantic(???) Staredown and quietly left the room.

AN: I thi k this is my best chapter yet… well I think that with evry one, Cuz they just keep getting bettr!!


	7. This chapter is da bomb!!

Chapter 7

AN: if you fuckerz keep being mean in gonna quit!! You won't get anymore of thiz masterpeice!! you're gonna miss out11!

It waz like 10 am and I didnt have anything to do. I could help kobra fix his face (whitch I fucked up(last chapter)), or I could go see what ghouls doing. I stil dontt like karbra, so I went to wherever ghoul was. 

Turns out ze was outside doing a bomb. 

"Wow!" I said amazed " that is a bomb"

"Yah" ghoul mumbled

"I know how to make bombs" I sed all smartlike.

"Relly?" Siad fool. 

"Mm hmm. Wanna see?"

"Yeah sure dude go ahaead"

I got the bomb stuf. I put them together an whalah!! A bob!111!

"Wow!! That's a bomb!! Beter than mine!!! Hod u do that??" Goul assked.

"Oh I guess I just have natral talant." I said all smooth nd shit.

Jest came outsid and was like "ooooh a bomb let's blow it up in the middel3 of nowere" 

Paeryty came outta the dinner and said "yeah let blow shit upppp!!"

AN tell me what u guys thinkk!112!!! But stop with the hate!! I don't deserve it!!


	8. BOOM!

Chapter 8

AN fuck off I know how to read no I didnt go to English class no I didn't go to school what's ur point

So we (me jet ghoul n aprty (kobra was ztill fixing his injuries(that I gave him))) went to the middle of zone 6. The car went super fast and it was really cool.

When we got to the place it waz relly empty!1!!2! There was nothing around but rocs and sand. 

Goul got the bombs and ze lit zer bomb. And ze threw it. BOOM! it went.

"Wow ghoul that was pretty cool," jet said

"Well see about that" I said cockily 

I threw my bomb and it went further than gools Cuz I'm stronger and more awesome than ze is. 

BOOOOOMMM!!!!1!1!11!!!! IT WAZ A HUGE EXPLOSIN!!11!! 

"That was even better than ghoulz!" Party said amaized

"I know' I said all wisely "is that all there is to blow up???" I asked, cause if not then this was a big wast of time and explsifs.

"Naw, we got a bit more shit to lite." Ghoul said in a very cool manner.

"Awesome,,," jet breathed.

Ghouuk went to the trnck of the car and brought out 2 fireworxz!! 

"If kobra where here he would day something stupid like 'isnt it way to broght out to sett of fireworx'" jet said

"Yesh that like so absolutely in characyer for him," party saved. "I can see him in my big brain roght now"

'Wow a big brain,,' I thought. 'Another reason for them being my Icing On The Cake <3' 

"Would u lik to do the onors? Goo said to partt and jet.

"Yeah thatd be sweet" they both said something like that.  
So they took the fireworx from ghul and lot them on fire and tossed them in the air. The fireworkzz went REALLY HIGH UP and exPLODED!!!!1!1!1 jetz was pirple and pratyz wuz red

I pointed at pp and sed "wow red liek u and me….." and put on a hopefull smile

"Yehhhh…" they said one eye staring at the sky xplosin and one eye staring at me. I could feel their gaze peircing my soul. 

AN I hop u like the tension I put between Vance and party!!11!


	9. You think that they actually ate only dog food back then?

Chapter 9 

AN FUCCCCKKK YOU GUYZ U DONT DISERVE ME

When we got back it wuz like 11:30 am in the morning and that's lunchtime!! I was pretty hungry but I hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast.

"What do we have for luch.?" I asked the gang

"We have power pup, watery power pup, sandy power pup, and moldy power pup. Which sound the most appealing to you?" Jet said as she lookid in tha cubbards. "I'm gonna go with sandy. Adds some salty too it"

I was all like wtf inside but on the outside I was hungry. 

"I'll have plaine."

"I'll have plane too"

"I'm gettin some SOUP" said kobra like that dude in that just do it video.

"I think I'll have playn too." Party looked at me, our souls doing the tango before I broke eye contact.

Goo and kobra shared a ??? sorta look. They didnt understand. Were meant to be. 

I got my can of power pup and opened it. 

sTiNk LiNeS

"Holy shit that smells gross"

"What have you been eating this entire time? Rocks?" Kobra asked.

"Uhhhh, cacti, lizards, weed, sankes…" I paused for a moment. They stared at me "....have you all been eating dog food since you got here…?" 

"No! We've eaten sand too." Party said.

I stared at them.

"What the fuck…" I whispered under my breath.

AN: hahaha!1!1 thiz waz my favorite scene to rite.


	10. I get really mad in this chapter

Chapter 10

AN wow were already on dubble digits! 

"So what do u guys do all day?" I asked

"Well we sometimez spray paint stuff, but today were gon a go to rommy chow meins store to buy some stuff. Wanna come with and get a layout of the place?"

"Yeah sure. With who?"

"Ill go! I need some hair dye, the roots are showing agaun." Said jet.

Me and jet got in the car and drove to tommys store. A few minutes later, we were there.

Tommy wuz in the atore looking like a grumpy old bitch. He was positivily ancient!! Hes like 30 at least!

Oh yeah i have some haterz and flamerz to shoot in the face! I thought. Ill do that after i get some stuff.

Jet went to the row with the hair ddye, to get some more blue.

"Can u pick up zome red? For me?" I asked. My shoulderlength bright red hair was becoming not so bright. Thats a big problem!!

"Yeah sure, but thats comming outta your pocket."

Fuck

"Uhhhhh…,., i left all my carbons at my (former) house…." I trailed off into awkward silence.

"Oh ok then, i got it" het said

I found a cool mask in another aisle. It was dark blue with a red X on it!! It wuz zuper cool!! So i took it off the shelf.

Mayb i could… steal it… i thoight. Mmmmmnno. That would be ruude! Like krabara was to me earlier (6 chapters ago). 

So i went to jet where she was at the counter and put the   
mask on the counter in front of Tommy next to 2 bottles of haor dye. He glared a real mean glare at me. 

"Thatll be 25 carbons." He glowered.

"25! Thats so much!" Jet exclaimed!

"How about 10" i said in retaliation. I wasnt going to let jet giv away her hard earned carbons!

Tomy sneared. "20. Or no deal."  
"Fine." I said snarkily. I was MAD! That capitallist scum took my carbons! I needed to find a way to relive my anger before i eneded up ripping tommys head off!!

We (me n jett) went outside.

AN : ooooh leading into something big!!!!


	11. New person!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so fucking sorry

Chapter 11

AN:: thsi is a joke fic!! I don not in anyway want to be adopyed by the fab 4, so stop asking!!

Me and jet walk outside the door, and there he wuz……. Ebony Demetia!! [AN thats u Jamie!!!] He has long black hair that reaches hiz butt with pruple streaks in it. He was waering big black xombat boots, bcuz hez gofffik. He wus also wearing a yellow hat, bcuz hes cool enough to do that.

"Hey Ebony,.,.,... is it ok for me to call you Eb?" I said sexily.   
Jet walked to the car to put the groceries in it.

"Yeah its taotally ok,,," he said under his breath, looking all hot n shit. "Did you know that colors have meanings?"

"No!" I said. I had never heard anything lile that before. "What do some colors mean?"

"Welll…" he said, giving me a seductive side eye. "White means pure, and red means hot"

White! Like my jacket that i got from a drac that i killed in one shot! I thought.

"Red…. Like my haor?" I asked slyly.

"Yeah,,.,..." eb whispered.

I pointed to his cool hat. "So what does yellow mean.,,..." i whispered sexily, like all the main characters in romance movies. We are totally gonna be fuckin in a few minutes, i can tell.

"Oh this?" He rrached up and grabbed his hat off of his sexy head. "Yellow means… it means…" he looked a bit nervous, but a seductive horney kinda nervous. We were practically breathing each others air, we were so close. I don't remember moving towards him.  
I let out a breath i didnt realize i was holding. 

"Who ever wears yellow,, it means.. they like piss." Eb murmured.

What the fuck. I am NOT gonna fuck someone who likes PISS

"Mmmmmi gotta, uh, go.,,..,. I, uh, hafta… take a shit."

"Oh," said Ebony, taking a step back, so now were like 6 inches apart instead of pretty much making out.

"Yeah,, its a real big one… uhoh! Fuckgottagobyeee" i said, running at top speed towards the car. I jumped in and shouted, "GO GO RUN!!" jet sat in the front seat resting her eyes. 

"Well go when im ready." She said, being stouborn. 

"Fuck!! Go! Now!!" 

"Fine ya fucker." She said as she started up the car, leaving tommys at a reasonabel pase for a friday afternoon. "Next time you fail to gat laid just hide in tommys bathroom."

AN im not updatin untill i get 3 good reviews!! Yoir gona miss out1!11


	12. Im so fucking strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i now realize that i went way too far with the piss joke but i made a rule that i wouldnt go abck and edit it. :/  
> Sorry about that

Chapter 12

AN you mean bitchez are gonna get shot in the face1!1!

If yellow meanz they like piss then... oh god party has that yellow hanky oh god oh fuck. I thought to myself in the car ride back. 

This is a disaster. Does that mean they lied about not being a pissbaby??? Oh they most certainly did. Im gonn ahve a chat with them when we get home. I dont think i can date someone who likes piss. Goo was right….

Maybe i can talk to zer and see what this piss thing is about! Yeah! Im gonna do that! Dont want to scare partey away from me.  
My train of though was interupted by the car stopping. 

"Hey were here" jet said. "Im gonna go inside, you can bring the stuff in, right?" 

"Yeah i got it. Dont worry" i said valliently. 

Jet walked inside as party walked outside. I stuggled to pick up the bags. They were very heavy, but i managed to lift them all in one trip.

"Hnnngngngn" i said as i put the bags down.

"Wow…" party said, staring at me. I raised my eyebrow.

"Youre so strong.. can i touch?" They said quietlt.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit

"Yeah sure go ahead" i said nonchalantly. 

"Wow. Thats some strong ass muscles you got there" 

I beamed with joy. 

Oh my fuck they think im strong this is the best moment of my life.


	13. The revalation...

Chapter 13

AN i am so much better than you guys. I wouldnt hate on someones writing!!

"Did you guys knownits my birthday tommorow?" I said when we were eating dinner. It was power pup again. Im still not used to the taste and smell.

"Really?" Asked kobra

"Yeah." I boasted. "Im turning 18"  
Party looked surprised.

"18… hunh." They paused "thats a pretty big year. We should do something special for this occasion of adulthood."

Jet spoke up. "How abotu a party? We could go to dr ds place, have some family funtime. Or we could stay here and do something special."

"I dont know, theres a lot that just happened.. i dont think im up for meeting new people."

"Oh ok then we'll throw the party here then."

"Epic"  
YAWWWN

"oh man im tired. Im gonna go to my room." Said kobra

"Ok. I think im gonna head in soon also." Said party. They went to their room.

Wait, no… Our room.

AN this next chapter is gonna be great!! Youll see11


	14. The decision... whats he gonna do...

Chapter 14

AN I took a writing class fuckerz!!! I'm so much better at weighing than u, you'll see!!

I sat at a booth in the diner, too full of nerves to go to bed.

Jet came out of the bathroom.  
"Holy shit you're still up?? Shut it down for the night, your body isn't a machine," she stood up straight and put a joking grin on her face. "Though mine might be!"

"I'm just not tired yet." I said as I put on an apologetic smile.

"Ah, yeah. I felt the same when I first joined the crew too. I'm gonna sleep now. The light switch is over there, be sure to turn it off when you're ready." Jet then left the room. 

Soon after she left, my mind became a swirl of thoughts, most of them worries.

What if they hate me for intruding 

What if they dont like me

What if theres only one bed

What if they smell good

What the fuck do I do if they cuddle in their sleep. What then.

Maybe I could just.. 'accidentally' fall asleep right here.. so I dont have to awkwardly enter the room.   
Yeah that could work. I should leave the lights on to make it seem real. 

I set my head on the cold table. It was hard and pretty uncomfy.

Last moment to get yourself into that room with an actuall bed and get a good night sleep. Are you gonna take it?

No.

AN I am so tired… tired of your hate comments…


	15. :eyes: oh dang

Chapter 15!!

AN this is a good day!! I hav not gotten any hate!! Hahahaa!!!

I woke up on the hard table. My face was stuck to it!! I pulled it off. It hurtt!!

Luckily I was up b4 everyone one else. I got some dog food offa the shelves. 

Ewww I thought as i twisted the can opener. I'm never gonna get used to this.

Ghoul woke up first, and sat down in the booth across from me, staring intently as a poked at my "food."

"So… howd you sleep?" Ze asked.

I gave zer a sneaky side eye. They didnt notice it was so sneaky. "I slept well." I lied, like a liar. It was the worst night of sleep I ever had in my entire years of sleeping.

"Mm. Understandable. Party woke up and said that you didn't go to bed last night." They said raising their eyebrow a bit.

I turned pink, avoiding eye contact.

"Haha yeah, I musta fallen asleep right here." I gave a nervous chuckle.

They made a face at me, so full of disbelief it was almost unbearable.  
"Ok." They said, standing up. Ze walked towards the bathroom. "They said they missed you." And walked away.

AN: ooohhh would ya look at that!!!


	16. Doc has appeared

Chapter 16

AN the vs have been making fun of me for being creative… what do i do…

I was still sitting at the booth when the rest of the diner inhabitants arrived at the scene.   
Party gave me a vaguely hurt look, and sat in the booth behind me.

Uh oh.

I scraped the last dregs of power pup out of my can.

"So what do you want to do for your birthday?" Jet asked.

"Oh shit! I forgot its my birthday!" I exclaimed, way too loud for this early in the morning. The ghoul winced.  
"Can ya turn it down a notch dude." Ze said.

"My apolocheese" 

Suddenly……….

KZZTZZTT 

Jet ran over to the radio. A voice became clearer as she turned the knob.

"Shit dudes seems like weve got a gaggle of dracs coming your way. Korse is there too. They seem to be about 30 minutes away. Good luck, my dudes!" The radio went silent.

There was a pause before i spoke up.   
"Who was that, and does that sorta thing hapoen offen??"" 

"That was dr deth defying, hes a radio guy. Korse popping by and trying to shoot out brians out is a rather common ocurrence. Its raelly surprising how bad he wants us dead." Said party.

"Well we better get our gear on" kobra said all grumpy. 

AN: to be PUNCHtinued…!


	17. Kobra and his tiny gloves

Chapter 17

AN: if u fuckerzz wanna fight then meat me outside tommies store!!

We dashed to the bench with our gear on it. Some cool action moves went down and it was pretty badass and would look good in a video form with cool music behind it. Maybe i could find a bideo recorder…

It was going super cooly untill…. 

"Shit," i heard someone mutter under theor breath. It was kobra. He was stuggling to get his stupidass gloves on. Theyre way too tight. Its unbeliveable that he was able to get even a finger into them. Looked like it would barely fit a 10 year old, let alone a older teen. 

"You need some help there buddy?" Said party, already equiped with their coolass gloves. They were like kobras, but they actually look not like a fool while waring it. And it fit them very well. It actually seemed to be pretty much the exact same as kobras gloves… maybe they just have really small hands. 

"No… fuck…… i got this…" 

He did not got it.

His gloves were way too small.  
Korse was coming here to shoot our brians out at any moment and kobra is still trying to get his horrible horrible gloves on. 

I could hear ghoul wheezeing in the background, mixed with jets snickers. Party had an trying-not-to-laugh face plastered on. Eventually they gave up and giggled. 

After a minit more of stuggling, he had managed to squeeze the tiny gloves on, his fingers turning paler from the loss of blood flow by the minite. And then…

VROOOM!!!

AN : sometimez you just gotta put on some really tiny gloves


	18. Fight time!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: fight scene with canon typical violence, but it gets more descriptive when it gets to Ghoul. 
> 
> PLEASE tell me if there are any warnings at all that i need to add.

AN: oh dang there iz some blody shit in dis chapter so,,, take that what you will

"OH SHIT THATS KORSE" YELLED GHOUL! ZE WAS ALL PANIKED!

"yeahhh.." i said. I could smell the sunscreen from here. Hes got to stay so pale some how.

The gang (im in da gang!!) ran outside and saw the dudes! The bad ones!

We ran out farther to the desert to get them awya from our house, bcuz that wud be bad if that got lazered.

Korse ran up, panting cause the suns fucking hot and he just ran a lot

How is he out of breath?? Isnt he a droid though??? I thought to my slef. Do droids even have lungs?

Then we got in a line and it was very badass. So cool. You should have been there. 

And then…

PEW PEW PEW!

The lazers were shooting. There were so many colors.

There was no rocks or cars or anyhring to hide behind, nothing to block the lazers paths. Thats not good.

I saw jet hit the floor. Oh shit! Her eye was… GONE. Where it was was a bloody mess… fuck.

"JET!!SHITTT" ghoul yelled, the first one to see the fallen crewmate.

I was going to run over to her, but then the drac that shot Jey pewed at me, almost hitting my face, but instead clipping the collar of my jacket that i got from a drac that i killed in one hit. I like this jacket! Fuck!!

I viciously shot at the drac, getting that bastard in the face. Karma, bitch.

So you could say thongs were going badly. You haven't even scraped the surface yet. 

Kobra went up to a drac to do some hand to hand combata because thats what hes good at i guess amd   
KCTCRCHC his arm went. The drac had broken his fucking arm. He dropped like a fly in a bug zapper. 

Youre probably thinking, well. It cant get any worse… right? 

Hooooo boy.

Ghoul tackled the arm-breaking drac, ready to rip their mask off, when korse grabbed a hold of them and shoved a knife in their mouth. Ze whimpered in pain, cause fuck dude, i feel like having a sharp metal in yoir mouth would be pretty painful. He dragged the knife into the side of their face, tearing a huge gash. Korse wrenched out the knife near zer ear. They screamed and dropped to the ground, clutching their bloodied and ruined face like a lifeline.

Soon me and party were the only ones standing. There was only korse and the two of us. Korse sot at me, hiting me in the leg. 

Thankfully, it only scraped the side of my thigh, and it wasnt set to the highest level of burn, so it didnt destroy my entire leg. 

Now party was the onlt one left standing. They glanced to where kobra was, wanting so badly to help him, but unable to for fear of being killed. Korse took that brief unguarded moment and ran at them full speed. 

"SHIT!" they yelled, backing up, but not fast enough. Korse slammed into them, knocking them into the dust, their head making a large THUD against the hard packed sand.

Korse looked around at the bodies littering the ground, surveying his work. He gave a sharp nod, and walked away.

An. Dang…. That was .. rough. Hope you guyz liked it


	19. Hhhhhhhumancentiped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests, this talks about the human centipede. There are spoilers for the first movie. It does not get graphic.

AN i promise itz not going to be gory like the last chapter

So at this point youre probably wondering what horrible injury happened to Party. Nothing did. That was the worst part. They had to live with the fact that they failed and let their crewmates get injured, while they were not. They have to deal with the fact that korse had gotten them out in the open. They didn't have anywhere to hide, no plan of attack. They lost.

We gathered up the rest of our crew, hoping that they would all make it. 

Jet was in her bedroom (she had passed out during the fight), with Ghoul asleep in a nearby booth. The stitches had been rough for zer.

Kobra was sitting on the floor of the main room, listening to the cracking noise of the quiet radio, playing some song that i didnt know. Party was in their room. They tried to disguise it, but everyone could feel their self loathing in the air.

I had gotten my leg patched up, and I felt the need to talk. 

"So Kobra, that was a pretty bad fight, hunh?" I said, regretting the words immediately. He didnt even spare me a glance, nothing indicating that he had herd me at al. "So have you seen The Human Centipede? That thing was gross as fuck dude. Could you imagine being in that? Eughh. I think the movie gets a 4 stars in my book, pretty good but not the best. That doctor man was pretty fucked up. That part where he tried to 'train' the centipede? I was like, 'bro what the fuck' during that bit. I wonder what happened to the girl in the middle. Did she make it out alive? They never give the answer to that. They could have made the sequel about the aftermath of that whole experience for that person and how that affected her, but noo, we got fuckin more centipedes. Cant believe how they made so nymber 1 was a movie inside of number 2. I saw that and was just 'oh. Wow. Why.' And number 3 was the worst thing i had ever seen. I wanted to quit after the first 5 minutes. But i didnt…"

I trailed off into silence, letting the rant go. Kobra looked extremly tense, like he was going to tryand fight me (again) (hed loose) (cause im bettr than him) (haha take that) (bitch).

Suddenly, there was a scream from the bedroom. Not just any bedroom…. Jets bedroom!1! Fuck!!

AN: hnnnngg kobra im trying to ease the tension but the sound of my sudden fascination with the human centipede is alerting the stress


	20. No..... :((

Chapter 20

AN: i wont update utill u guyz start giving me notes!!! Fuckerz!11

Jet screamed and we (me n kobra) rab to her bedroom. She was in there… and she was crying :((. 

"Whats wrong?" I said, wanting to stop the crying. It made me sad :((.

"My eye…. *SOB*..." she cried… it was so sad…

We (me n korba) layed down next to her. Then PArtY apperaed… they were also crying D:... they stood in the doorway of the room all sadlike…. They said…: "im so sorry… forgive me…." and then they broke into tears and it was very sad.. then i started crying too…. We were all crying… except for Kobas… but he was also relly sad. Ghoul wuz still asleep after da surgery. 

Party went on da bed, and we ALL hugged. Then goul came in the room and layed down on the small bed, not saying anything cause that woild mess up the hard work on zer mouth. And we fell asleep like that :).

AN: theyre sad but also not sad… :((( if you didnt like dis then ur a prepp!!


	21. Hair time X3 !!

Chapter 21

AN: some cool shit iz gonna come up here and you are going to like it OR ELSE

So i woke up and had some more yucky dog food. We were just chillin, doing our thing.. well, not really.

Ghoul could bearly open their mouth, kobras left arm was fucked up, and jet ahd to get used to only having 1 eye. Thats pretty hard to do!  
And party… they wernt doing so well either, despite not gaining any massive injuires.

So i was chilling in the main room, reading a thingie, not really focusing on it, letting my mind wander, like a puppy in a meadow, or a rat trapped under a bowl that showed up at 3 in the morning when you were just trying to get a can of water and you didnt want to mess up your floors by shooting it and you left your gun by your bed so you couldnt shoot it in the first place even if you wanted to.

My hairs getting a bit dull. I thought idley. Perhaps i could do something with it. 

We did just get some dye yesterday… hm.

Fuck it, might as well.

I stood up, motivated to have a hair day. What else was there to do anyways? 

I rummaged through the bags that hadnt gotten unpacked from the trip to tommys, finding not just the red that i had bought, but also some blue!

Oh yeah, jet was going to fix her roots.  
I glanced towards her bedroom door, remembering how she woke up screaming from a sick combination of moving her face the wrong way and a nightmare.

I dont thinks shell want chemicals near her face anytime soon.

Might as well.

I grabbed both the bottles and marched towards the bathroom, passing parttys room. I musta woken them up, cause they poked their head oit of their room. Tbh they looked leik a mess.

"Whatcha doin?" They asked tiredly, but in a sexy way.

"Hair day." 

"I can help if you want. Got real good at that with kobras bleaching."

I felt a small spark of jealously,, but i dampdned that. They wanted to do somethign with me!11

"Yeah sure cume here with me"

We walked to da bathroom.

I sat on the toity and unboxed the red dye, ready to slapp that shit on my pale roots.

"Mmm fuck now that you gpt me tjinking about it, what if i also dyed ny hair red?? Wouldnt that be cool?? We could be haor buddies!!" Pastry said.

HNGGNGNGGGGGG HOLY SHIT HILYK SHOT HOLY HSIT  
"Yeah that would be cool" i said all causually n stuff.

"Milkshakes, lemme get on some hair day clothes." They left the room.

What the fuck?? Whyd they say milkshakes. I am just. So confused. 

I loked into the hairdye box and lo and beljold, its bleach. Partry has pertty dark hair so putting the red on top of ot would look like fuck.

I grabbed that bleachy shit and did whatever it was that made it activate. It was bleaching my nostil hairs, so i opened a wondow what was there.

HACK CAKCKCKC COUGH WHEEZE

Party has areived to the scene. They are dressed in clothes that are more holes then fabric, and look like they have been buiered in the sand for however long that fuckin robots been there. But longer.

"Fuck, i will never get ised to that smel," they said after their caughing fit had stopped

"Yaeh me neither."

There was a pause, chock fulla tension. It was so quiet you could hear the ringing.

Parti was the one to break it.

"I think we should get the dye on your roots forst then tackle my hair, because itll take longer."

"Wait no your hair are made for bleaching we should do that first let that shit sooooaaaaak. "

"Fuck. youre right. You are so snart." They said staring at me with the power of a thousand firey dessert suns. I stared back with what i hoped was the same force. Unfortunately, i wasnt strong enough, not yet. I couldnt hold the stare of the coolest bitch in the zones. I have failed.

"Okey lets plopp that ass on the toilet. Pass me the bleach." I said. I am filled with so much regret for all the dum things i have ever said, all the fuck ups i have done.

They sat down on the toilet. I globbed up a big ass gloop in my bare hand, hesitating. What if it's a bad gloop? What if they do what I yoinky? 

What the fuck??? Whats a yoinky? Whos coming up with this shit. 

I glopped thr bleach onto their head. They shivered as the lukewarm-but-in-a-cold-sorta-way bleach got splatted on their head.

I thourgughhly neaded the bleach into their shoulder length hair. I could see it lightening before my eyes1! Quickly i was finished with that. I washed my hands of the bleach and traded spots with pArty. 

"So were dying just your roots?" They asked. I couldnt see their face, because i was facing away from them, sitting on the toity backwards.

"Yeah <3" i responded, hoping they didnt notice the heart.

"Alright allright."

SLPORT!

i hissed and flinched cause its cold as fuck. 

"Heehee" they giggled.

Okey maybe that wasnt so bad if i made them giggle…. they have the cutest giggle ever… uwu

They massaged the red into my scalp. So relaxing…… i closed my eyes to get the full experience……………..

"-round?"

"Eh?" I asked confusedly. Had I fallen asleep or something?

They repeated whatever they had said: "Can you turn around?"

"Oh yeah,," i mumblered groggily, turning aroumd. Cant fucking belive i fell alspeen.

"Did you fall asleep?" Party asked.

I blushed like a pig under a red light.

"Perhaps," i said guilty. 

They smirked/smiled well meaningly, "I guess I'm just that good at dying hair1"

They had no fucking clue how much of an underexaggeration that was. They could be the deity of calm hair shit (if deitys were real). I wanted that to never end.

Patry stated to work on the fron part of my head rigjt above my forhead and i just *:･ﾟ✧(ꈍᴗꈍ)✧･ﾟ:*

I could feel myslef drifting off into the sleepy zone again. I stuggled to keep my eyes open.

Poiny musta noticed, becasue they said, "Irs ok Valance, you can sleep." in a calm voice like a cotten sheet. I smiled at them gratefuly, and drifted off to sleep.

"Hey," a voice whispered softly at me. A beautiful voice, sounding like a really generic voice but sandy <33

"mmphf," i responded.

I opened my eyes to see party, but blond hair. It was a look to say the least.

"Hey, you, youre finally awake." They said softly, looking me in the face.

"Y-yeah," i murmered. Theyre so beautiful. I could stare at them for dayz and not get tired.

"Ive already washed my bleach out. We should get to work on washing the red from yours." They spoke quietly, with a tendeness i could not describe. 

"I was thinking… maybe i should add some blue tips? I think itd make me look hot." I murmered into the air.

"I think you are already." Party saidd, then blushing as they realized their words and looked away. 

I blushed at them, amazing how they could think that. Me?? 

We stared at eachother, each second feeling like a eternity within a eternity. The tensionw as getting to me. I could feel my chest tighten, with was either love or a panic attck.i coildnt take it. I ahd to dowow something. Fast. 

"Should we get started on your hair now?" I murmered, reaching for what was left of the red. There was quite a bit left, seeing as all that had been used was on my roots, yeah the roots. Likes trees, had anyone ver been impaled by a tree? Is that a rhing that happens? I guess ill never know uwu.

Party looke d disapointed, but nodded. "Yeah. Then we can get to your blue.".

After that was said we mostly worked in silense. It went well. I fonished their hair, my hands looking like i had commited a bloody crime. Partes looked the same, but purply.

Then the blue went on and it was nice then party showered while i let the blue sooooaaaaak in. 

They exited the bathroom looking like a wet rat, but red. Very nice look. Bad-ass as fucck. 

Then i showered and blue went fucking everywhere but it was good and i looked like a legitimate awesome cool guy!11!1!1!1 most excellent OWO!1!1

"OH MY WITCH YOU LOOK SO MILKSHAKES" PARTY SCREAMED WHEN THEY SAW ME!!!!!!!! 

AN: vance is so much fucking cooler than all of you looser readers X3


	22. :D this ones gonna be big, boys....

Chapter 22

AN: okey so somethin big is gonna happen is this chapter!1

So then we showed off our hair to the rest of the gang and they loved it!! Even korbas!!

I pretended to fall asleep in the main room, bcuz im a fuxking wimp uwu. I could tell this shit was getting on Partitis nerves. I promise im gonna sleep in the correct place tomorrowo. 

This whole thing about not sleeping in the same bedroom as PArroty was clogging my mind. It was suffocating me. I needed out.

"Hey gang, im gonna take the car out for a spin. Ill be back in like an hour or two." I said confidently to the room. 

"Yeah sure, take however long you need." Perryt said. They did look not a even a liitle smol bitty bit wprried, nope nuhuh. Trust <33333 uwu.

I popped into the car, ready to drive anywhere to get my mind away. It was like 12am in the mornign, i just had lunchy (more dog shit). yumby.

The car went VROOOOM and it blocked out the sounds of my inner turmoil. When i was pretty far away liek in zone idk number 6 near the edge of zone 7 but not really only sorta.

I got out and walked around, not doing much, just wanderin around. 

Suddenly, i saw a lime green glow. I was super fucki g curiois, so i went over to it. Turns out, it was a shallow pit of green slime, about as deep as my ribs.

I took a sniff of the green glow coming out from it. Snelled like animal fur. Odd.

I stepped closer to the edge and THE EDGE CRUMBLED BENEATH ME !!!1!!!! 

"FUCK!!!" I SHOUTED!!! 

SPLOOOSH!1!11!1!11 I fell into the green sludge, fully submerged in the lime gloop. My mouth was open from shouting, and i got some of the sludge in there. Tasted like a weird version of power puppie? But different somehow.

I climbed out of the pit, feeling soggy and angry.

"FUCK" I yelled into the sky, hoping that someone wpuld hear me so i could go and yell at that person. But no, this was the edge of zone 6, no one fucking lives here, for reasons like that STUPID SLUDGE PIT. Grrr. Am angry.

I shook off the slime and got back in the car. This isnt fun anymore now that i got wet >:(

I vroomed back to the diner, so over this goop pit shit. It was now about like 3ish in the afternoon. Yeah. That time. Great time any othertime than when I AM COVERED IN LIME GREEN SLUDGE.

The top-sides of my head were a bit itchy. Maybe im allergic to the gloop? Hmm. I scratched my head and kept driving in this badass car.

I drove for a bit until i got to the diner at like 3:30 pm. By then my head was super itchy. The place where my spine ends is also itchy, which is annoying as fuck cause i have to sit down a bunch.

My nails gelt sharper than before the sludge? Weird, but i ignored it.

I finally got back to the diner. 

Thank fuck. 

Kobra was working on his bike put front. He ignored the car rolling up, but looked when he heard the wet squelch of my shoes, filled with green ooze.

"what the fresh fuck."

"I. Dont know." 

"They're gonna be pissed that you got shit all over their car."

"(ʘωʘ)"

"How the fuck did you say that out loud." 

"¯\\_( ´･ω･)_/¯"

"Seriously dude, stop it, it's freaking me out." 

"Fine, if you say so." 

I squelched into the diner, ready to take a shower when jet came stumbling towards me. Her balance got fucked up when she lost the eye.

"What the fuck?? why are you so wet get out outoutout," she ran into me, pushing me towards the door. "Is that a fucking cat tail???"

"WHAT?!??? on ME?????? Cat tail?!?!?" I spun around in a circle trying to see the cat tail(?????????) that was apparently attached to me?? 

And then i caught a glimpse of a white thingie following me. Ohhhh my fuck. Its a real life cat tail.

I stopped spinning and reached behind me. There it was, attached to the bottom of my spine, right where my pants waist is. Holy shit. It was about the length of my forearm right now. Why is this here??

I musta made a lot of noise because Ghoul came out of their and Jets room and just. Stopped in xer tracks.  
"What is That??" They asked, so fucking confused.

"A fucking CAT TAIL!! We got a fucking catboy on our hands!"

"Did someone say catboy? You know we execute those bitches on sight- holy shit," party enetered the room and doing a fucking double take like Ghoul.

"Execute?? You kill catboys?!? And i dont nyant to be a catboy!!" I whimpered pathically 

"Woah woah that was a joke we arent going to kill you even though you are a fucking catboy?? When did that happen." Party said

"Probably when i fell into that pit of green sludge." 

They looked horrifyed. "My car! Fuck fuck fuck fuck no darling sweety ill get you cleaned up.." they ran over to the trans an and started petting the hood of the car, whispering sweet nothigs to the hot metal.

I squelched outside, looking for a place to dump some water in my head to get rid of the slime. I rembered hiw the top of my head was itchy like my spine… there were two bumps where i was scratching earlier… 

"Yo kobra youre tall can you check something for me?" 

He walked on over. "Whats up catboy."

>:(

"Is there anything weird on my head?" I asked tentatively, nervous for the outcome.

"You got fucking cat ears."

"Holy shit," i ran over to the car to look in the refelcrion of the windows. And there they were, two white cat ears, not quite fully formed. Is this a dream? Or a nightamre. 

I tried flexing them and holy shit they moved. I have real life fuckong cat ears owo!!! 

"This is fantastic…." I murmered, continuing to move them in the reflection of the car.

"Yeah.." Party said, looking at my cat(!!!) Ears and faintly blushing.

"Did you know that cats have spiked dicks" Kobra interrupted the quiet moment.

They all started cackling at that while my face contorting into a horrified melted version of itself. They laughed harder, Ghoul having tears running down their face. Eventually i began to chuckle too.

AN he has fucking cat ears nowo!1!! Aw yeaaaas!!1!1!!!


	23. Sleepytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its back.

Chapter 23

AN owoh man hope you guys are ready for some looks into Vances thoughts

It was nearing the end of the day, and we would be falling asleep soon. Very soon. This was good, because i was exhausted. (Growing cat ears and a tail is so tiring) But also bad, because the one thing i was dreading/excited for was arriving far to soon. The reason that i took that fateful drive. I had to sleep in the same bed as Party. This was gonna be one hell of a night. One hopefully filled with a soft matress and a good nights sleep. 

I stirred my can of dog food, spinning the can around as the spoon stuck in it.

"Im gonna work on cleaning the trans am." Pasrty said, standing up from their empty can. 

"Dont stay up too late," kKobra called after them.

"Got it," they said, finger guning towards the door.  
Kobra left to his room, so it was just me Jet and Ghoul left.

Jet sent a look towards me. "So how are you?" 

"Whats that supposed to mean?" I asked, bit more defensive than i would have liked. I put the spoon i was holding in my mouth.

"Whats the deal between you an party?" Ghoul said bluntly.

I choked on the spoon, spitting it out. "Were just friends." I said.

"Wouldja like to be more?" Jet said.

I stared incredulously at her. What the fuck??

"Uh, um… maybe." I responded lamely.

Jet lightly punched ghoul in the shoulder. "I knew it! You owe me!"

"Fuck, fine."

I squinted at the duo. Did they have a fucking bet on wether i had a crush on party??

"Did you… make a bet???" I asked, wanting to get things straight (heh). 

"Yeah. On weather you would tell us or not."

"What the fuck."

I sat back and stared at my can of mush. Had i been that obvious? 

"Yeah its clear to literally everyone dude. Yer not subtle."

"At all." Jet added.

I stared at them, panic bubbling up? Howd they hear me oh fuck mind readers??

"You were talking out loud dude, and you still are." Jet said.

My face burned and my (cat1!!) ears moved back.

"Chill romeo, we got your back on this. Now go the fuck to sleep. I heard pp enter from the back." With those final words, Ghoul snached my can and scraped out the last of it.

I stood up, legs shaky, and began walking to the bed room  
.  
Wait fuck i dont have any sleep clothes i probably smell like shit 

"Maybe party can lend me some clothes… yeah," i murmured to myself. 

"Yeah i have some stuff i could lend ya," party said, poking their head out of the door. I must have been talking louder than I thought. Whoopsie.

They pulled out a big faded purple shirt and some soft looking pants.

"Here, you can wear the good pants." They said shoving the clothes at me, taking extra care to do so with the pants.

"t h e g o o d p a n t s,,,,," i whispered, taking the pants more delicately than i ever had before. "Thank you so much." I said with the most sincerity I have. "Im gonna go change, ill be back." I exited the room, heading towards the bathroom. I got changed, being careful putting on the Good Pants. 

Theres a reason they're called the Good Pants. But a better name would be The Best Pants Ever, but that doesn't really have the same ring to it. 

I reentered the bedroom, party now in sleep clothes also. They had on a dark green shirt with white shorts.

They lied down on the bed, complete with a shitty mattress and very used pillows.

"I grabbed a few more pillows from kobras room for ya." They said.

"Oh, thanks." I also said. "Wont he be mad though?" 

"Nah, he won't notice." They patted the bed next to them. "Here, lay down."

I sat down carefully on the bed, not wanting to anger them somehow. I layed down on the mattress next to them, getting more comfortable. This could be nice. I felt the heat of their skin radiating off of them. 

"I usually read a bit before sleeping, but you can go to sleep right now if you want." They said, pulling out a thin book.

They turned on a small lamp. 

"Im gonna turn the big light off now, is that ok?" 

They're so considerate….

"Yeah." I said, further sinking into the mattress. It was the best thing ive layed on for days.

I felt my eyes getting heavyer, and as i drifted off to sleep the last thing i saw was party pulling the blanket over me.

AN: oughh how caring


	24. Horrifying monsters (not korse)

Chapter 24

I awoke, slowly, opening my eyes a bit, seeing a big white and blue thing obscuring my vision. I opened my eyes more, seeing a huge fucking Thing in my face, a twisted version of some creature, a plasticky morphed being.

"FUCK" i screamed and i fel out of da bed.

"???" The creature said. I got a better look at the thing. It was blue and fuzzy with a white face in the shape of a cat like thing. It was smiling an uncanny valley grin with wide eyes, partially punched out so I could only see a deep darkness within, drawing me in, getting me lost in the pit of its gaze. I could stare into these blackholes all day and not lose attention. 

The creature held out a human hand to me. "You alright dude? That wasa pretty hard fall you had there."

The blue thing reached up to its head and started pulling it off???

My face grew horrified as i watched the creature rip off its own head. Underneath it was Party. Oh. 

"Shit did i scare you? Woops.." they patted the things head. "This is my blue fella its name is mouskat were buddies :-)"" they said all nicely with a nose.

"Ok cool very cool" i (vance) said. I am vance, yes.then i left the room to do bathroom stuff liek brushing my tooth. 

AN: sorrey for da ahprt chater!!1!1!1!1! Toull get some fresh shit in the nextcone!!!++!!+1+111


	25. Jetted Star :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @xxvalxxvelocityxx on tumblr

Chapter 25

AN ok gamers its like 1 am in the morning morning lets fuckin goooo

So then i had some dog shit food and it tasted pretty ok. I guess i was getting used to it. What a horriblw concept. Maybe its cause im like part animal now. Oh yeah you forgot about thathunh dintcha. Yeah im like a catboy now because of radiation. Pretty fucking sick. 

I wiggled m y tail aoroind ,wnjoying the moviemyn of my new fucking cat tail. Ghoul was thetecyeah, and they aparantly know how cats work, and they aksed " hey bro whats up?" 

"Nothing much dude justceating my fucking can o goop." 

"But ur tail,,, its doing the angry wave. " 

Well i looked at my cat tail(!!!) And it was on fact waving. But angry? Never. 

"But im not angry wtf bro im just wigglin." 

"Hmmmmm" they hummed. Not a tune just a humm. Hmmumhjmnnmmm. Their humming was so inconprehinsible. So confusing and nkt even a humm? More like a large typo hjdhjdh!!!

"Hey hey fuckos youre all over 18 right?" Asked jet the star. 

"Yeah i guess so now. Hunhg." I said. Well i didnt actually knwo jow old the other were but they ajd the looks of peiple that are over the age of 18 wifhtteen. Yeah. 18 eightteen.

"Cool! Now you can legally fuck.

"SPOUPPGPHPHP" hey look that's the sound of me spitting out my power puppy dog. 

Party pisosn enetered the room just a little bit afetrwatd, afetr the power puppy dog was cleaned off of ghouls face.

They sat across from me ( ghoul wouldnt sit directly across from me after i ahd spit on xem) and just stared at me chowing down on whats left of my can. 

"Hey kobes can i ahve ur can too if you dont want it?" I asked, still fucking starving.

He pushed his can at me, looking greatful that he didnt have to eat that slimey gross shit anymore. Bad slimey. Nasty fuck. Gros gorss gross slimy slimy yucky.

Howver i dodnt think it was gross gloss slimy so i fucking face planted into the half eaten of the dog food and went to town. Nummy.

"Hey gang, i got something to tell you." Jetty said a bit quietly over the sound of my slurps.

"Yeah whats up?" Kobra was leaning on his ear, the one next to me, to block out the slime noises.

"Im not as binary as you think i am!!! I fucking love using neopronouns!!!!!!!"

"Yeah!!! I support you!!!" I said!! And the rest of the gang said something of the sort!!

"Yo whats like th' specific ones you wanna use?" Party asked.

"Idk!! Go hog fucking wild!! And yeah i also use the he she they that cool shit too.! Go crazy go stupid with your pronouns for me!!" 

Ae spooned out the last of aer wattery dog food. Slurp!  
Unfortunatly, kobra fucking hates that slurping noise so he coverd his ears and left the table.   
Ghoul went to leave the table and did something else liek motors and shit. And then……………………….

RING RING!

"ILL GET THAT" jet and then party scrambled oevr to the radio like pigs in a pig racing contest. Jetted star got there forst and put hir ear of the radio headphoens. "Who is it?" I asked

"Looks like its the bitch police!" Ze said

Parsty yanked the headphones out and a voice came out of the speaker of the radio that is being used to communicate with an unknown person that is not someone that i know who is talking at the moment. 

"Whats up you shagadelic fuck, im comin over with cherri and were bringing some parts for that mechanical stuff that you called about earlier."

"Alright cool. Whats the zta? (Zetimated (zone estimated) time of arrival)"

"Ihh about like 10 minutes."

"Pony what the fuck? Why didnt you ring in earlier?" Party interjected. 

"I did! Kobra answered. He told you, right?" Kobra did not tell them. 

"Hey Kid!" Partyys shouted down the hallway (i dont fucking knwo where this hallway camefrom)

Kid kobas walked into the main room.

"Did you forget to tell us that pony is arriving? In 10 minutes???" 

":^)"

Fuck, you always do this." They turned to the radio. "Yeah Pone, well be waiting for your arrival. Poison out."

Oh my Witch do they go by poison. What the fuck. What have i done this entire time ohhh no. Oh shit nonono. Am i gonna be yelled at? I dont think ive said theire name this entire time ive been here, thank fuck. I thought weakly. I think I fucked up. And a newcomer is coming to the dinner? Ohh boy am i in for a ride.

AN: has vance been making a fatal mistake this entire time? Fuckin idk. Stay tuned!


	26. The strangers arrive

Chapter 26

AN its some new chartatersres!!!!! Lets see hwo they act wijt a new diner inhabitant

So yeah i was all fucled up about this delema of what anem do i call pp? Yeah, osnt that fucked up. I dont know the first name of my bae<33

And some randos were showing up. Yeahhhh. Hope they're hot.  
So just sat there until i heard a blue/teal truck pull up into the driveway. I looked out the window to the nonexistsant driveway. Hey look, the truck is vlue! Just like i thought it would be.  
It was dirty as shit and way less cool than the tras am. 

A horse was standing in the back of the truck. A fucking horse. Howd the horse get there?? Hows it surviving in the desert? Wtf.

The driver was some hippy with blue and dark brown hair. He was also fucking shedded. Looked like he rips out assholes for fun. He was wearing a puffy shirt like those old timey dudes, those writers wear. Fucking nerd.

He opened the truck thing to let the HORSE out, the fucking HORSE, why is there a horse??? The horse ROLLED OUT OF THE TRUCK. ON ROLLERSKATES. The horse has rollerskates. Rollerskates on a honse. The horse somehow manages to roll over to the front of the diner. On sand. on rollerskates. On HOOVES!! THIS BITCH HAS HOOVES!!!! 

Ghoul dashed out and jumped onto the horses neck, clinging there upsidedown, showing remarkable upperbody strength. 

"Hey hey Pone, hows it going?" Party has arrived, and is talking to the horse. Pone?? Like the radio Pone. The horse knows how to use a radio???? That was a hors espeaking?? On a radio with a human voice?????? I think im gonna pass out.

"Oh hey Party" said the honse. Fucking horse speaking. Could my day get any weirder? 

"Funnie, couldja hop off fora sec?" The HORSE said. Xe fell off of the horses neck and scooched away. 

The horse then did something that did make my day weirder. It kneeled down on its back legs and reared up its front, going hogh in the sky. It twisted and melted like a horrible creature. I barely managed to hold in a scream. It glopped into something human shaped, becoming more and more each second, until it finally stopped melting (thank fuck). There was now a person standing where that horse was like 30 seconds ago. They were wearing the same rollerskates the horse was wearing, but only 2 of them, not 4. They also had on some short shorts and a shirt. 

"Hey Pepsi couldja toss me my helmet?" The not-horse said to the ripped nerd. He tossed a blue dotted helmet towards the person(?). 

They plunked it on their head and walked towards the truck. 

Th blue haired hippy gto some mechanical stuff from the back tot eh trunck.  
"Hey can you go inside and get the others? We need more hands for this mechanical stuff." 

Ghoul dashed inside, very fast like a lazer. Xe is speed. "Hey get your ass outside everyone!!" 

They (jet and kobra) walked to the door, ready to be strong and mucsle. I stayed behind, unsure if "everyone" on incled me. 

"Nope, you dont get to skip out," jet said as he gestured for me to follow. 

Aw shit. 

AN: so who do yu think da hons person is??? And whos the ripped nerd??? Cliffabhender!!!!


	27. Vance runs away from his problems

Chapter 27

A.n: if you have mena shits to say take it to somewheer where i dint ahve to hear it!1!1!1!!

I wanlked outsode, as one does when they see a horse turn into a person. Fucking terrifiedly.  
Step step step ibto the sunlight. Bright. Bright as my last look until i get stomped on by a horse person. They might eat me.

I walked up to the horseprrson. "You," i said, pointing towards them. "You.. y ou were a honse."

"Hell yeah! Im Show Pony, ae/aer pronouns." Ae stared at me asif being a horse was a normal thing. Horrible gaze.  
To be honest the shock of seeing a horse turn intoa person is sorta very overwhelming. I think im gonna lay on the ground now or something.

I turned around and started walking shakily to teatrds the dinner, intenting to go to the room i share woth P. 

"Hey hey wher are you going?" Ghool siad, droppojg xyr armfull of stuff and rinnuhg over to me.

I looked ar them, then kept on walking the short distabce to the diner, not wanting to show how fucking scared i was of Pony. They placed a hand on my shoulder and I HIT THEIR HAND OFF!! No touchy!! 

I rann the rwst of the way to the dinner. A quick glace begind me showed ghuol stabding there looking confused as to what had just happpend. I dashed to me and P's room to lie down for a sec. Just a sec.  
And then i heard a voice. A beautiful voice in these dark and unpresented times, sounding like an angel made from neon. The voice screamed out, "Hey vance??"

An: oh mman too bad for vance :(( can u gess who da voise iz?


End file.
